Rejection
So...
I didn't realize how badly I had wanted to be in this play... I always tell myself that I don't want things and that its okay if I don't get them, like when I was rejected- well put on the waiting list to be an RA... It's a coping mechanism. Anyways I did make it to final call backs and I was honestly proud of my performance, so I guess thats what matters, not that I got to the last round of call backs, but that I was proud of how I did! I have a hard time saying that I think I did well, because that always makes me feel concieted and sets me up for even more rejection, but I am going to say it! I think I actually did better than a lot of the Drama Divas! ha ha that made me feel better :)
I think now is the time to open up my RA envelope of nice things said and turn in my massage certificate tomorrow and upgrade myself to a half an hour table massage :) mmm yeah!
I was really upset talking to my mom on the phone tonight... she keeps on getting upset and asking constantly if I am okay... I understand, but at the same time; I have made it this far!!!!!!!!! I am fine!!!!!!!!!
ha ha
that felt good too... I think the reason I really liked the play and did so well at it was because I got to be mad, I mean fucking mad, and scream and cry and be all sorts of emotions that I am not usually, especially in public or towards other people... it was a ncie release...