on the cutting room floor
I am enamoured with this one photographer's work... Eolo perfidoI think I have a new favourite! I waste my time doing funny things like looking thru art portfolios for hours at 3am... but I am so enthraulled by visual art... I wish I had a studio and a carrear... note to self; don't let all your hobbies die... they can jockey for your time and get put on a shelf, but don't ever let yourself go bereft of art! I think about it all the time, I wish I could be___________ (insert art form here) but I want to learn more, do what I want to do while I have the time; instead of what was practical-
mr grandfather told my mom, "hunny, just do something practical..."
so she went to nursing school, and while she likes her profession, every day I watch her get frustrated because she wishes she had taken the time while it was there to have inmersed herself in her painting... she is actually very talented despite her self depriciation. She is just like me, in that we compare ourselves to my grandmother, who was an amazing artist and a beautiful soul inside and out, but the thing about her was... she was unapologetically her- she reinvented herself and lived a life that was flled with adventure and risk- not because it was glamourous, but because she believed in putting your passions first...
I still have not mastered the fine art of learning from the mistakes we've made in the past...
but maybe someday I will fill the shoes- gold lame chanel- that are never worn, dead, at the bottom of my mother's closet, relics from my grandmother
random tangent:
I am rediscovering the wonder of Ani Difranco's music... I haven't really had a good long listen in a while... her music reminds me so much of highschool- of feeling that gitter in the pit of your stomach- the one that screams so this is what discovering the who and what I am is all about!
I love her lyrics, so i leave you with a lesser listened to song that I only just now heard the poetry in...
Standing in my view
But I will wait for it to rain
So that I can see you
You call me up at night
When there�s no light passing through
And you think that I don�t understand
But I do
We don�t say everything that we could
So that we can say later
Oh, you misunderstood
I hold my cards up
Close to my chest
I say what I have to
And I hold back the rest
�cause someone you don�t know
Is someone you don�t know
Get a firm grip, girl
Before you let go
For every hand extended
Another lies in wait
Keep your eye on that one
Anticipate
Dress down get out there
Pick a fight with the police
We will get it all on film
For the new release
Seems like everyone�s an actor
Or they�re an actor�s best friend
I wonder what was wrong to begin with
That they should all have to pretend
We lost sight of everything
When we have to keep checking our backs
I think we should all just smile
Come clean
And relax
If there�s anything I�ve learned
All these years on my own
It�s how to find my own way there
And how to find my own way back
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