refresh...

I am at home in my mom's studio on her amazing apple I-box- drool. I had a long and lovely day and am in for a hellishly early day of travel tomorrow to get to Puerto Rico... I am excited and as always a bit nervous, but a so happy to have jim in toe and to see jake soon!


last night jim and I had a random talk for ours and I must say it only made me love him so much more, little by little we are coming to understand each other so much better, or at least that is how i felt last ight and that is so refreshing. today his parents picked us up at the airport and we had lunch with my family on our back porch- it was really fun and I really enjoyed gettting to talk to his step mom vanessa and dad, they are great people and by meeting them I just get to know jim better too.


I went out to dinner with just my mommy and we chatted and it was lovely, I am so glad to see her so happy and just down into the grove of her job and life with john. She is a great sounding board about realtionships now, I used to worry about her and john all the time because things were so rocky- I at age nine told him in our kitchen that if he broke my mom's heart he was through and i'd hate him for life.... now I know so much better, things are never one sided and relationships are so much more work than you think as a kid, even the best ones. I am just learning more and more about life every day and how to make the changes in my life that I want to accomplish. I am glad to be visiting my dad and making such an effort at having some sort of relationship even if its not my ideal. I love my mom and jake and john so much, i love family, its so nice to see them more now- it makes me happy to love them so much, not neccisarily to be loved, but to love can be so refreshing and calming. I am just starting to feel really good about our ability to grow as peoiple n this lifetime and to grow together witht he ones we love.


maybe updates while in pr, but either way tons of pictures when I return :)

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