wait, they don't love you like i LOVE YOU
I have been such a crank to poor jim lately, I hate that I get agitated so easily when its not my personality to be that way. I am still looking forward to New mexico tomorrow, I just hope I can snap out of it.
I have been listening to music a lot lately, as I wrote in previous entries... I got two cds in the mail from christine around midnight last night (when I woke up- yeah I realize thats odd- and checked my mail) and I cried. I miss her a lot... anyways I am listening to maps by the yeah yeah yeahs and oh god its such a good song- I think I played it to the point of madness spring of sophomore year up on hoyt 4th...
I think that a large part of my frustration with jim lately is that I can't talk to him about music or much of what I feel passionately about... he just isnt that kind of person... he loves music and is quite talented, but he couldn't tell you a musician's name if he tried, nor does he enjoy finding new stuff. I guess I was just spoiled in terms of intellectual conversation etc at drew because all my friends were so wonderfully unique and smart and I think when put together there was this manic energy that is hard to recreate. I miss it a lot sometimes... a lot a lot.
I was painting my toes a pale pink tonight and I felt suddenly flooded with animosity- recollections of how bad things had gotten with vanessa by the end of last semester... its so strange how my memory- my emotional storage bank is tied into things... there are certain things that I cannot do anymore, foods I no longer like, smells I cannot stand and of course the opposit, because they are so strongly tied to memory for me, or a person or a place.
anyways I felt terribly vain and hollow doing my nails, why I do not know? I have ugly well worn and torn feet... I should just be thankful to have nails to paint at this point- implying that I had in fact been missing a toenail or two for quite some time...
I digress as usual... i should be sleepign or packed or working on my sketches or something remotely useful, but I am enjoying listening to the new death cab for cutie cd (download "what sarah said" and "soul meets body" right now and you won't regret it) and staring blankly at my computer screen...
while I digress... did I mention I think I have a serious girl crush on zooey deschanel (most of you probably know her from elf, but she is a really talented actress/ singer with a broad carrear). first off she is named after a character in my favourite salinger book franny and zooey (yes zooey is a guy in the book, so what)... anyways just thought i'd share the prettyness...
my favourite picture... if I could look just like anyone it would be her
her website... lots of pretty
did I mention she was born on january 17th and has an obsession with the wizard of oz! that cements it... its love
